When it rains it pours...

There is something very soothing about the sound of the rain,

Lighting a cigarette when its raining is very calming,

And there is something equally as fucked up when you cannot help but feel like your drowning,

Like your life is a constant battle of trying to keep your head above the water.

The Alphabet

I was sitting in a room one day and the queer story came about. It began like L...G...B...T...Q...I...oh!did you know there is a P as well, I also heard that there is an A somewhere. Then someones shouts from across the room "Is it the freaking Alphabet". I just burst out laughing.

This brings me to my current story. I was with a couple of queer folk last night and something about that space really intrigued me. I was observing, like I always do..haha..stalker much. Anyway, in a single sitting i was around dykes of course, effeminate cute gay dudes, a pansexual, an intersex person, a gender non conformist and get this a gold star lesbian who is currently in a relationship with a trans man. Somebody say hallelujah!!!! In a single sitting I was in the Mecca of queer diversity.

This got me thinking about gender fluidity and how jelly queer folk are. I love it. I was so excited because it took me back to a time at a party when a gay friend of mine told me that he would not mind shagging an androgynous butch dyke. I met other gay dudes who loooooove boobies. They love a girl with a nice set of tits. How crazy is that? I love how queer folk are not afraid to be fluid. They are not trapped in the box that heteronormativity locks people down in. I mean, after yesterday when you say your straight, yaaaaaawn!!!! It is so boring to only have sex with a woman or a man. Straights never stray outside the box and that is so boring. Not to be gender fluid is sooooooo boring.

I must admit, for me there is something about trans women that is so fucking hot. If I ever crossed paths with one...damn!!I don't think I would hesitate..haha..
Gender fluidity is crazy interesting. I love it. I love the slight hint of rebellion. I love that the box society puts us in has no match for us gender fluid folk. I love it. Yesterday opened my eyes to a world I only thought was fiction. I will definitely begin to read more on the Q.T.I.A.P side of being queer. My curiosity is peaked. I love it.

Cupids stupid little bows....

Like a thief in the night,
You crept into my heart,
Something I did not see coming,
Love,
Something I had convinced myself that I am incapable of feeling,
An action I have resisted,
This ice queens heart just melted away,
Trying to refreeze but I cannot,
My heart is so warm no longer an ice box,
I am in love with you,
I am done falling,
Cupid and his stupid little bows definitely got me,
I heart you my baby,
I love you with all of me Tina...


Come Home-One Republic

Amina

Hijab, Shaylah, Tarhah,
Khimar,
Abaya,
Chador,
Jilbab,
Burqa,
Niqab,
Shalwar Kameez,
Beautiful women all covered up,
Beautiful women always in black,
Beautiful women instructed by religion not to show skin,
Beautiful women instructed by the Holy Book to cover up faces glowing,
Beautiful women with hair oh!so lovely,
Hair locked down in a bun,
Hair that never gets to experience the beauty that is wind flowing through it,
Beautiful women told by a book made by man that beauty only belongs to her husband,
The world cannot admire their gorgeous bodies,
Hidden behind baggy black clothing,
When the sun is scorching I wonder,
I wonder whether this beautiful Amina can strip off her Abaya,
Without religious scorn and dirty looks,
It's freaking hot dammit!!!!
Oh! Amina I am always torn between respect and disdain for you,
I always wonder whether religious non-conformity is a choice you have,
Do you like the black clothing?
Or behind closed doors do you try on short skirts and tight pants?
Do you let your silky locks of hair down?
Or is it condemned to a life in a tight bun?
Do you envy the non-muslim woman for her "freedom of dress"?
Oh!!! My dear Amina I am sometimes jealous of how staunch you are,
However, when I think of the restraint my heart shutters,
Oh! Amina if only this world was not governed by religious mediocrity,
If only you could be trusted to be respectable without the black,
If only life was half as fair to you beautiful woman,
If only Amina,
If only!!!!!

Not so Patriotic...

I have soooo many things I want to blog about but everything is in bits and pieces in my head. I may get carried away spewing, stop me if you can.

I have been trying to place my feelings towards what is currently happening in this dear country of mine. I know I have been less than patriotic of late, I have simply checked out of the current shit going down in my country. I am living in a country I do not care about any more. People around me get so animated talking about politics and the current country situation and I am simply not amused. Basically I am over it.
I began to question myself on my current mood and I have concluded that it is not my country that has a problem, it is the government, the opposition and all its shinnanigans.
I am particularly upset at how the media feed off drama instead of issue based politics. I am particularly upset at myself for getting sucked into all the drama and chaos that is my country's politics. I get so sucked up in the chaos that I forget to question what is actually happening. Whether all the drama is a smoke screen to blind me and the rest of my country men from the fact that our needs are not being catered for.
I am particularly pissed as fuck because in the 21st century in a country as progressive as mine I was stuck in traffic for six hours yesterday...yup!six fucking hours people.
The Chinese, I will not even get started on how I think that all this "generosity" will bite us in the ass one day. Human beings are simply are not designed to be that kind without expectation in return. Somebody needs to question why there is increase in elephant death with the increase in Chinese "help".
I am upset that my country men are suffering from some form of PTSD because of the terror violence but people are bothered with non-issues like "baba" coming back from the States, as if he came back with solutions to World Peace and eradication of hunger and poverty. Relevance is something that will quickly fade away as long as you do not cater to the citizenry. Nobody cares about word, action evokes credibility.

Anyway, it is a tad hypocritical for me to sit behind my screen and type away at how disgruntled of a citizen I am. That being said, I will continue to watch this political space, come 2017 I will be wiser. I shall not like in the past cast a vote based on tribe, I promise to devote my attention to issue based politics and not the drama that is my current political situation. I will listen out for political figures who have my best interests as their focal point. Interests such as improved health care, solutions for shit ass traffuck and most importantly persons who are keen on human rights; LGBTQI rights for that matter. Because I want to passionately kiss my girlfriend in  the beautiful Nairobi streets.

In other unrelated news, Capital FM are playing some off the hook rock music today.
Aaaaaand most importantly lotsa rainbow colored hugs and kisses to the 702 readers that have indulged me in my happy, animated,sad,cynical, spirited, angry, runty blogs.
Asante Sana.

Supply vs Demand

I am an observer,
I am that fly on the wall with a hint of extrovert,
I notice even the slightest changes,
One thing I have observed of late is LGBTQI relationships,
Supply vs Demand is what I have hypothesized,
I have observed that people in the queer community have relationships,
Relationships that last forever,
Yes, there is the having many partners until you find this elusive one,
However, what I noticed is that once queer folk settle in a relationship,
It is for years to come,
Why? I began to ask myself,
Why is it that as opposed to our fellow heterosexuals;gay relationships actually last the test of time,
Supply vs Demand comes about because me thinks there are fewer queer folk and getting a person who gets you is enough to build a relationship,
Supply vs Demand does not force you to settle,
It however in my opinion makes queers get past the small petty things being in a heteronormative setting will not provide,
There is so much choice out there for the straights,
Choice that makes them picky and petty because there is always supply,
In my relationship I have learned to stop sweating the small stuff,
Shit that would otherwise make me cast you away is now more rational for me to go through,
It is the supply shortage,
I cannot just walk into a room and find a person like her,
So when I met her and started to fall for her the little things that I would otherwise not pay attention to if I was straight would not matter,
The little detail the small things that make a human being human is what I have conditioned my mind to look out for,
I am no longer privy to a world where there is plenty of supply,
It is a good thing actually,
It is an amazing thing because little supply opens up my demand,
My demand for being the source of love,
My demand to love unconditionally,
My demand to have faith in people,
My demand to trust the person I am with fully,
My demand to appreciate human beings as human beings. 
Without demand, supply gives me an exit plan.

Heroes are made of this...

I know I wanted to blog today,
But I am not sure what about,
I know I was feeling inspired today,
But I did not know by what exactly,

I was about to go on a verbal diarrhoea rant about how displeased I am with my government. The government I so willingly but not authentically voted in. I was going to vent about why the public commute system in my country, the touts, always get into a fight with you once you give them 1000 shillings and ask for change. Since when did 1000 shillings become burden filled money. I was going to vent about the lady with thunder thighs sitting next to me but my dear people today is not that day.

I want to blog about this amazing soul I met last year 17th May to be precise.
I was a closeted dyke going about my business when I bumped into her at the Pride/IDAHOBIT event.
She was different. There was something very unconventional,very risque,very intriguing.
There was something very brave about her.
A courage I had never experienced. Experienced you ask? Yes!she exuded courage that swept the room.
There I was timid as a mouse,shaking in my converse feeling so out of place in this room filled with queer folk. I know I was meant to feel at home but my closet doors were shut and nothing could get me out. Nothing.
That is what I thought until I met this beautiful queer who made me feel like it was ok to be me. It was ok to be queer,unconventional.
It's ok,there is nothing wrong with you was the vybe I got from her.
It's ok my darling was the comfort I felt from her.
It's ok,do not sweat the small stuff was what she stood for.
Her persona,her feminism,her lack of fear to speak out or die trying...
Rise!Raise a fist! Resist!!!! Her mantra....
She is indeed a rebel with a cause....

I know I wanted to blog today,
Now I know what about,
To my heroes in the queer folk community,
To the beautiful souls that made me feel like you know what, IT'S OK!!!!