Here we go again

It's about that time of the year,
When festivity checks in,
When she leaves her morals in November,
Picks them up in January,
It's that time of the year when
thoughts of the past months start trickling in,
She begins to wonder whether the choices she has made
are actually choices she is proud of,
She questions her actions
were they of pride,of shame,of apathy,
She gets lost in the fog that is her future,
So eager to experience it
yet it cripples her with fear,
That fear that makes her body weak in the knees,heart palpitate and palpitate and palpitate,
like a banshee on ketamine,
She wonders whether her future self will hate her for decisions of her wanting, her lusting,her loyalty to a fault,
She wonders whether she is lost in her darkness,
It creeps back in more often now,
it scares the living daylights out of her,
Her demons ever so loud,
She has done pretty well though,
She is proud of the self growth
proud of her strength,her resilience
her power
She is indeed a power force to reckon with,
As she ushers in the new year
uncertainty being her biggest anxiety trigger,
She will forgive herself for the stupid,the reckless,the good,the bad and the down right ugly,
She will allow herself to live,to participate,to be vulnerable,to be afraid,to make mistakes...