I can't allow myself to feel,
because if I feel,
I will feel way too much...

The Gold Star

You know what they say about lesbians and long nails,
There is something so fascinating about the gold star lesbian,
That woman who has never been nutted into,
Her only contact with the D is wrapped in silicon,
There is something about this woman,
So sure of her orientation it makes me cringe with envy,
There is something so liberating about her,
Something so empowered about her thought process,
Not dogged by heteronormative standards,
She never felt the need to confirm,
The grass was always greener on her side,
Something about the gold star that makes her so authoritative,
So authentic,
So genuine,
So untainted,
Such a breathe of fresh air she is,
The gold star is indeed proof in my eyes that being gay is far from a lifestyle choice,
We are coded this way!!!!

Light and Dark!!!!

Perfectly stitched together,
We are one,
We are mostly never good for each other,
Our bond so close,
We cannot do without each other,
A perfect cocktail of good and bad,
Dark and light,
Sane and insane,
Mostly insane,
One works best in the light,
But when dusk begins to set in,
When the lights go out and no one is looking,
The insane comes out to play,
Working so intricately behind the scenes,
Makes decisions even when I am not aware,
That's the broken side of me,
The beautifully broken part of me,
We are one,
I cannot help it,
My biggest critic and cheerleader,
Meshed in one body,
One mind,
One thought process,
I love and hate that we are one,
Take a razor and cut out one,
Like Romeo and Juliet we shall die together,
But one always wins,
The devil on my shoulder...perhaps!!!!

Red lips and mascara

The last stroke of my mascara wand,
Press my lips for my red lip to look complete,
Stare at the mirror,
A reflection of which the outside doesn't match the in,
I stare a little longer,
To catch a glimpse,
But all I see is less than perfect,
Waaaay less than perfect,
I dull my ciggy,
I take my last sip of my drink,
Looking for perfection at the bottom of my glass,
Like a child so eager to impress,
I run to my boss with my best work in check,
Perfection no where to be found,
I take a deep breathe,
Appreciate what the good lord has done,
Perfection!Perfection!!!where at thou?
Music booming,laughs and laughs and laughs,
Clink!clink!clink!!!cheers my good man,
Perfection ever so fleeting,
She curses me out at the fuck up I am,
She calls me out on the bullshit I have done,
It's perfection my love,
That's what I strive to achieve,
Beautifully broken that's what it is,
Oh!perfection,
Oooooh!!! Perfection,
your one that can never be achieved..