Beautifully broken...

Happy but cannot stop crying,
Sad but cannot stop smiling,
Hopeful but hopeless,
Cheerful but gloomy,
Love and hate,
Positivity and negativity,
Filled with mixed emotion,
Head spinning around and around,
Thoughts flooding my mind,
Good,
Bad,
Resentful,
Angry,
Wish I could snap out of this,
But that is not how it works,
I have to feel the pain to deal with it,
No longer numb,
No longer escaping,
No longer running ,
But facing it is easier said than done,
Feels like dancing with the devil,
Sat directly in the pits of hell,
Happy one day broken the next,
Hopeful for that light but engulfed by darkeness,
Behind my smile is emotional debris,
Beautifully Broken!!!