I have been dreading writing this blog. I have been dancing around it but mostly making excuses for why I should not write it. The law of the jungle is one of survival for the fittest. So when circumstances caused me to survive I had to adapt quickly or get phased out. This is the typical story of friends falling out, it has happened quite a number of times but this fall out was different. I had been stuck in a bubble. This bubble consisted of friendships I thought were loyal, ideologies I thought were reality and a feeling of always wanting to belong. For 6 years of my life I was stuck in this bubble and I was perfectly happy and fine...until the fall out...
I had to adapt, and I had to adapt quickly. Survival was my number one instinct and against my better judgement I decided to branch out, meet new people and this time they had to be completely out of the 'social circle' I had conformed to. And so, my journey began, I started to put myself out there, I say this because believe it or not for 6 years I had surrounded myself with only a select group of individuals totalling 5 people. Don't get me wrong I had very many acquintances but those particular 5 people were my ride or die bitches. I am a very loyal person, so by that fact I chilled with themmost all of the time. So imagine my shock,when after the fall out I was slowly edged out and before I knew it, I was on the outside looking in.
Before long, I began to interact with different people, from writers to artists, academics to activists, I can confidently say I have put myself out there. One of the things that I found really changed for me is the type of conversation I found myself having. If you would have told me 6 years ago that I would be talking about feminism,art,world politics,racism,patriachy,religious non-conformity etc and enjoy it I would probably laugh at you. I slowly realised that gossip is not conversation. If anything, I realised that its even a burden, because after gossiping your left with a secret, and secrets are burdens.
In my bid to put myself out there, I have got to meet thee most amazing and talented people. People who put so much time,love and value to their work every time am around them I want to, with the risk of sounding cheesy, become a better person. People who are not afraid to call you out on your bullshit. People who are so intellectual and fact-based that you cannot have a debate with them if your facts are not in check. I like that, its challenging. People who are interested and conscious of what is happening in the world, ignorance is NOT bliss.
I could go on and on about my journey of self discovery which is not about to come to an end. The long and short of this blog being,
change is hard,
it is difficult,
it is unsure and full of self doubt,
but change is necessary,
it is good for you,
if your not changing your not growing,
maybe change was all I needed.
I had to adapt, and I had to adapt quickly. Survival was my number one instinct and against my better judgement I decided to branch out, meet new people and this time they had to be completely out of the 'social circle' I had conformed to. And so, my journey began, I started to put myself out there, I say this because believe it or not for 6 years I had surrounded myself with only a select group of individuals totalling 5 people. Don't get me wrong I had very many acquintances but those particular 5 people were my ride or die bitches. I am a very loyal person, so by that fact I chilled with them
Before long, I began to interact with different people, from writers to artists, academics to activists, I can confidently say I have put myself out there. One of the things that I found really changed for me is the type of conversation I found myself having. If you would have told me 6 years ago that I would be talking about feminism,art,world politics,racism,patriachy,religious non-conformity etc and enjoy it I would probably laugh at you. I slowly realised that gossip is not conversation. If anything, I realised that its even a burden, because after gossiping your left with a secret, and secrets are burdens.
In my bid to put myself out there, I have got to meet thee most amazing and talented people. People who put so much time,love and value to their work every time am around them I want to, with the risk of sounding cheesy, become a better person. People who are not afraid to call you out on your bullshit. People who are so intellectual and fact-based that you cannot have a debate with them if your facts are not in check. I like that, its challenging. People who are interested and conscious of what is happening in the world, ignorance is NOT bliss.
I could go on and on about my journey of self discovery which is not about to come to an end. The long and short of this blog being,
change is hard,
it is difficult,
it is unsure and full of self doubt,
but change is necessary,
it is good for you,
if your not changing your not growing,
maybe change was all I needed.
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