An eight year old girl was given a video cassette of a Walt Disney animation called Mulan. Her mum got it for her to keep her busy or rather to shut her up. This little girl began to watch the animation and very quickly got hooked. She watched it all day everyday until the video cassette became black and white and subsequently the tape got ruined. Her heart broke. It did not break because the video cassette got spoiled but because she would never get to watch the animation character Mulan who had become her hero.
Fast forward to today, a whooping fifteen years later, this little girl who is all "grown up" watches Mulan again. A flood gate of memory gushes through because Mulan is still her hero. At eight years old she could not quite understand her fascination with Mulan. Today though, through every scene and her very animated self repeating the words after the characters opened a whole new meaning to the sentiment that is this Walt Disney flick.
At eight years old she knew she was different. She did not know that there was a word for it just yet but her object of affection was a woman. Mulan was not the conventional girl. At the beginning of the animation she is trying to look all girly and primed to get the match maker to like her and get her a man. She sings and wonders when her reflection would change to show who she really was. This eight year old girl secretly wished that one day when she is all "grown up" her reflection would change to gay. That it would be ok for her to like girls in a continent that is plagued by patriarchy and an "unAfrican" mindset.
This eight year old girl wondered whether the reflection she saw in the mirror would one day stop being ashamed and guilty of being herself. Whether her reflection would exude pride when she saw gay stare right back at her. Like Mulan, this little eight year old has grown up fighting a personal battle of self acceptance and self love. Self love in a world that loathes you for being a homo.
Like Mulan this "grown up" eight year old girl has won that war. Has slayed the dragon of shame, guilt and self hatred. Like Mulan, this little girl hopes that one day when she comes out to her family it will bring honor instead of disgrace.
Mulan will always be her hero because she fought against all odds. This little girl is me...fifteen years wiser.
Fast forward to today, a whooping fifteen years later, this little girl who is all "grown up" watches Mulan again. A flood gate of memory gushes through because Mulan is still her hero. At eight years old she could not quite understand her fascination with Mulan. Today though, through every scene and her very animated self repeating the words after the characters opened a whole new meaning to the sentiment that is this Walt Disney flick.
At eight years old she knew she was different. She did not know that there was a word for it just yet but her object of affection was a woman. Mulan was not the conventional girl. At the beginning of the animation she is trying to look all girly and primed to get the match maker to like her and get her a man. She sings and wonders when her reflection would change to show who she really was. This eight year old girl secretly wished that one day when she is all "grown up" her reflection would change to gay. That it would be ok for her to like girls in a continent that is plagued by patriarchy and an "unAfrican" mindset.
This eight year old girl wondered whether the reflection she saw in the mirror would one day stop being ashamed and guilty of being herself. Whether her reflection would exude pride when she saw gay stare right back at her. Like Mulan, this little eight year old has grown up fighting a personal battle of self acceptance and self love. Self love in a world that loathes you for being a homo.
Like Mulan this "grown up" eight year old girl has won that war. Has slayed the dragon of shame, guilt and self hatred. Like Mulan, this little girl hopes that one day when she comes out to her family it will bring honor instead of disgrace.
Mulan will always be her hero because she fought against all odds. This little girl is me...fifteen years wiser.
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