Something really strange happened this week.
I am frantically looking for something to wear and the pants I wanted to wear this particular day could not be found. Rather I was super lazy to find them at 6 o'clock in the morning. Anyhow, that being said I wear a skirt.
I think I should begin with the fact that I very very very rarely wear a dress or a skirt. I rock up to work in a skirt and that's when a series of strange events began to happen.
I walk into the office and the first colleague I meet is perplexed at the fact that I have a skirt on and I am looking all girly and dolled up. The office care taker proceeds to tell me that today I am on a mission to and I quote "confuse the men in the office." Another colleague who barely ever talks or rather never talks to me unless it is business related had moments all day where he kept on telling me how he wants us to go on a "date" and two days later keeps telling me how he felt about the turn down on the day I wore a skirt. This among many other unexpected reactions was the rule of the day.
This brings me to my current quagmire. If you met me very many things would go through your head but gay is simply not one of them. I am not the stereotypical dyke. I do not look like a stereotypical gay girl and therefore I have developed mitigation mechanisms...which are clearly not working. Heck! I cut my fucking hair just so that I could look a bit more dyke-like but clearly this is not working out very well for me....lol!!!
I do not know to be a rough Nairobi dyke like a certain group of lesbians in the city. I cannot be caught dead in baggy t-shirts and sagging pants and with my big booty having a bounce-like walk is not at all flattering....lol!!!! I like my eye liner and mascara and painted toe nails but in strict sense I am not femme nor am I butch. I am a confusing look. Confusing to the people around me who I have not told that I am gay.
I am not closeted but at the same time I don't not a false sense of guilt to come out to people who do not matter to me.
Skirts have clearly drawn attention that I did not fore see coming. What to do with that unwanted attention is the question...because to be honest. I do not want it.
I am frantically looking for something to wear and the pants I wanted to wear this particular day could not be found. Rather I was super lazy to find them at 6 o'clock in the morning. Anyhow, that being said I wear a skirt.
I think I should begin with the fact that I very very very rarely wear a dress or a skirt. I rock up to work in a skirt and that's when a series of strange events began to happen.
I walk into the office and the first colleague I meet is perplexed at the fact that I have a skirt on and I am looking all girly and dolled up. The office care taker proceeds to tell me that today I am on a mission to and I quote "confuse the men in the office." Another colleague who barely ever talks or rather never talks to me unless it is business related had moments all day where he kept on telling me how he wants us to go on a "date" and two days later keeps telling me how he felt about the turn down on the day I wore a skirt. This among many other unexpected reactions was the rule of the day.
This brings me to my current quagmire. If you met me very many things would go through your head but gay is simply not one of them. I am not the stereotypical dyke. I do not look like a stereotypical gay girl and therefore I have developed mitigation mechanisms...which are clearly not working. Heck! I cut my fucking hair just so that I could look a bit more dyke-like but clearly this is not working out very well for me....lol!!!
I do not know to be a rough Nairobi dyke like a certain group of lesbians in the city. I cannot be caught dead in baggy t-shirts and sagging pants and with my big booty having a bounce-like walk is not at all flattering....lol!!!! I like my eye liner and mascara and painted toe nails but in strict sense I am not femme nor am I butch. I am a confusing look. Confusing to the people around me who I have not told that I am gay.
I am not closeted but at the same time I don't not a false sense of guilt to come out to people who do not matter to me.
Skirts have clearly drawn attention that I did not fore see coming. What to do with that unwanted attention is the question...because to be honest. I do not want it.
No comments:
Post a Comment